My Stepdad wants me to dance for him

My stepdad wants me to dance for him. I don’t much like dancin’. When we’re havin’ dinner, me Ma and him, he’s all the time lookin’ at me; watchin’ me as he spoons his food into his mouth real slow.

“Dance for me,” he says after dinner.

“I don’t like dancin’,” I say.

“She don’t have to dance,” Ma says, “don’t dance sweetheart.” Ma’s on my side. She looks at Stepdad but he don’t look at her, only at me.

I don’t dance for him that night. The next day at school, Emma and me are hidin’ round the corner from George. George is a bully but Emma says she likes him. She says she wants to kiss him on the lips. I don’t understand why because kissing not the lips is gross. We’ve seen the older kids do it. Emma is lookin’ round the corner and giggling and pulling up her skirt. She wants him to find us, and incase he finds us she wants her skirt to be shorter. My skirt is much longer than Emma’s. Ma says I’ll attract the devil with my nobly knees.

“My stepdad wants me to dance for him,” I say to Emma.

Emma stops lookin’ round the corner, George isn’t there.

“My sister’s always gettin’ money from dancin’,” she says, “the other day she was out dancin’ all night and came back in the morning with ten dollars.”

“Ten dollars!” I exclaim.

“I saw it. She show’d it me. She says dancin’s a smart way to make money,” says Emma. “She says you have to get lots of practise. Maybe you can practise on your stepdad.”

I think about it. When the bell rings for class, we go back round the corner and George appears. Emma giggles, she shuffles up her skirt again. She starts walkin’ in a funny way, shakin’ her bum.

George comes next to us and pokes Emma in the arm.

“You’re a looser,” he says, and he pokes her again.

I’m feelin’ all angry ‘cos he’s pokin’ Emma but Emma just giggles. She’s lettin’ him do it.

“You’re a looser,” he says again. This time he pushes her hard. She looses her footing and falls onto the floor. There’s lots of people in the corridor and they all stop to look. Some of them laugh. George walks away, laughin’ loudly. My face is red with anger. I want to run after him and push him back, maybe push him to the floor and stomp on his head, but Emma asks me to help get up. She isn’t angry and I don’t understand why not.

“I'll kill that George,” I say.

Emma smiles. “My sister says sometimes boys are mean to you when they like you,” she says.

“Eww,” I say, “do you still want to kiss him on the lips? After he pushed you over?”

“Corse I still wanna kiss him on the lips,” says Emma, as she brushes the dust off her skirt.

After school Emma comes back with me to play. We're playing with the dolls I have, two girls and a boy.

“This is you and this is me and this is George,” says Emma. She makes the dolls of her and George kiss on the lips.

“Eww,” I say. I make the doll of me push George over onto the floor and stamp on his head.

“That’s better,” I say.

Emma leaves before dinner. I put the dolls of me and Emma back into my bed but I leave the doll of George on the floor. I look down at him lyin' there and wish I had some scissors to cut off his head.

We sit down for dinner, me, Ma and Stepdad. He's watching me again as he eats, real slow.

“Dance for me,” he says as Ma's cleanin’ away the dishes. He has weird dartin’ eyes and his mouth slightly open.

“I don’t like dancin’,” I say

“You don’t have to dance sweetheart,” shouts Ma from the kitchen.

“If you dance for me,” Stepdad says, “I’ll give you anything you want.”

“I don’t like dancin’,” I say, but I'm thinkin’ now. I remember what Emma said about the ten dollars. Maybe I can get stuff from dancin’. I think if there’s anything I want.

“Anything you want,” Stepdad says, as though he's read my mind.

“Don’t dance for him sweetie,” shouts Ma. She sounds sad. “Stop tryin’a make her dance,” she says to Stepdad.

I go quiet cos I'm thinkin’. Stepdad puts his big hand on my arm, softly. It feels all sweaty.

“Come on sweetpea, there must be something what you want.”

I can think of something I want now but I don’t know how to say it.

“Anything at all?” I ask.

“Anything,” he says. “I’ll get it for you I promise, anything you want.”

I've thought of something I want real bad. I don’t want to dance, but I think about how happy it’ll make me and I smile.

“OK, I’ll dance for you,” I say.

Ma comes back from the kitchen.

“No sweetie, don’t dance for him,” she says. She’s all serious now.

“I’ll dance for him,” I say. I’m stubborn. “Seein’ how he promised to give me anything I want.”

Stepdad says I shouldn’t dance in the livin’ room but I have to dance in the bedroom. Ma goes away to the bathroom for a long time. She doesn’t want me to dance for him, but I don’t mind. He says I can have anything I want. We go into the bedroom and he sits himself down on the bed and makes himself comfortable.

“You can dance just there,” he says.

I stand infront of him. I don’t really know how to dance.

“Ain’t you got no dancing outfit?” he says

“No,” I say

“Well you gotta at least take off them school clothes,” he says, “they ain’t no good for dancin’.”

I take off my school skirt and my shirt.

“That’s fine,” he says, “now you can dance for me.”

I move around abit like I seen ‘em do on TV. He tells me what to do sometimes like to move my hips around or lift my arms and this an’ that. I’m not payin’ much attention or findin’ it too bad, cos I’m all the time thinkin’ about what I’m gonna get for dancin’. After a while, I hear Ma is knockin’ on the door.

“Come outa there,” she’s sayin’. Stepdad must’ve locked the door.

“Give us a minute,” he shouts, “keep dancing love,” he says.

Ma keeps on knockin’, gettin’ louder. Stepdad gets annoyed, sighs.

“Alright love, put your school uniform back on,” he says.

I do and he opens the door to Ma. She looks like she’s been cryin’.

“Well” she says. She spits as she talks like she does when she’s angry. “Did you dance for him?”

“I did,” I say, proudly.

“And what you gettin’ in return?” She’s staring at Stepdad. “You better ask for something good sweetie.”

“I will,” I say. I turn to look at Stepdad so we're both standin’ there in the door lookin’ at him while he’s sitting on the bed. He sits up and buttons up his trousers what must’ve come undone.

“You know George, the bully at school,” I say.

“That’s Ste’s son,” says Ma

“Aye I know ‘im,” Stepdad says.

“I want his head,” I say, all calm. “I want you to cut it off, and bring it me”

Stepdad smiles and laughs to hisself.

“That’s a good’un,” he says. “Now tell me what you want. I can give you anything you like. How about,” he takes his wallet out of his pocket, “I can give you five dollars if you like. How about it? Five whole dollars.”

He waves the note. Normally I would never’ve turned down five dollars, only today there’s somethin’ I’m wantin' much more.

“I don’t want money,” I say, “I want George’s head.”

Ma smiles and claps her hands together. She’s all happy now.

“You said it,” she says, “you said she can have anything she wants. If you break your promise she’ll never dance for you again,”

“I’ll never dance for you again,” I say.

Ma is clapping he hands together again. She’s so happy she’s almost dancin’ herself.

“And,” she says all excited. “And if you don’t do it, you know what i’ll do. I’ll call the police won’t I. I’ll tell ‘em you’ve been dancing with a girl what’s underage, and your stepdaughter at that. I witnessed it I did. They’ll have you arrested and all those in town’ll know.”

I nod along, though I’m not understandin’ the police bit. Ma is on my side.

“Get me the head,” I say.

“Get her the head, get her the head,” Ma joins in.

“Sweetpea” says Stepdad. He stands up now and he’s buttoning up his belt. “How about some real nice clothes?” he says, “I can take you to town tomorro, get you anything you like, something real pretty to dance in next time...”

“I don’t want clothes,” I say, “Get me the head of George.” I'm stubborn.

“Get her the head, get her the head!” shrieks Ma real loud.

“Get me the head!” I yell.

Stepdad finishes buttoning his belt and walks out the room. Ma and I hear the back door close. We go and peer out the window downstairs. We can see Stepdad walking out in the direction of George’s house. Ma is laughing and then she starts jumpin’ around all agitated. For a while nothing happens and I think he’s not coming back. Then after maybe twenty minutes when we're gettin’ bored, I see him walking down the street. He’s carrying a plastic bag from the shop down the road. I’m angry cos I’m thinkin' he’s just gone shopping and Ma and I stop paying attention until he opens the door and I see his face is all dark and angry and there’s deep red blood on his arms and on his chest. Without sayin' a word he opens the carrier bag and tips it out on the floor. Out rolls the head of George.

When Ma sees it she shrieks real loud and jumps up on a chair. She starts shrieking more like an animal real loud. It's ringin' in my ears. Stepdad doesn’t say nothin' just steps away. I kneel down and look at it. I'm calm. He looks all different, George, all grey. His eyes are shut and there's lots of blood all over his face and neck. I pick up the head. I have to use both arms cos it’s real heavy. I have to hold it against my body to keep it up and there’s loads of blood dripping out the bottom onto my school shirt.

Ma keeps screaming and crying.

“Put it down!” she's shouting, “put it down put it down!” and she's shriekin’ and standing on the sofa writhing around. I don’t know why she's shrieking. She was on my side.

I don’t put it down but instead I run outside. It’s dark now but I only gotta go one block across to Emma’s house and I know the way. I get there real quick but by the time I do my school shirt’s covered in blood and my arms are achin’ cos George’s head’s heavy. I bang on the door and I hide the head behind my back so I can surprise Emma. I’m already out of breath from the runnin’ so I’m breathin’ real heavy. Emma answers the door - I think she seen it’s me from the window.

“I got something to show you,” I say. I’m all proud. Then I hold up the head of George in the light. “See,” I say, “now you can kiss him on the lips.”

Emma doesn’t kiss him on the lips. She screams and cries until her parents come out. I understand it tho cos kissing on the lips is gross.